I’ve been sitting on this one for a while now—thought perhaps it was a bit grating. But alas, I don’t care, to loosely echo Jefferson, a little ruckus now and then is a good thing. Let’s get things rolling with a quote something like this:
“A convenience store approach to birth control is this generation’s bitch goddess of infertility.” – Douglas Wilson
I agree with this. To reference the, as they say, pop-culture, my wife and I applaud the enormous Duggar family for their stance on birth control and we appreciate their belief about children all the more. No one is going to be able to coolshame us into changing our minds. If this sounds like we hate our generation’s “bitch goddess of infertility”—good. We do. If you don’t like this—we’re fine with that. If you think this makes us crazy—call us crazy. But as the saying goes, what’s in a name? We love children because God loves children; we’ll be happy with as many or few as He’ll bless us with whenever He sees fit. In other words, we’re not fans of condoms or the like.
Ephraim, our first son has been with us for over a year now and Noah, our second, for a few weeks. These brothers are 14 months apart. Ej and I didn’t plan it like this and honestly we were surprised. Like showing up when you’re the one the sneaky party is planned for. I know you’re thinking it, so let me go ahead and stop you there, yes, we know where babies come from. We know what “causes” this and as it happens, we thoroughly enjoy our parts! (We’ll there’s a pun if there ever was one.)
Having our second so quickly, the shock from others was expected. We were (and are) prepared for the criticisms murmured in secret, and the judgements disguised as humor, the sideways looks, and unsolicited opining. But when we encounter these we don’t get angry or frustrated, honestly we pity the critics. Apparently these are the ones who confuse the surprise of a surprise party with the surprise of someone sneaking up behind them at the ATM and taking all of their twenties. We feel sorrow for the haters—for those who sacrifice to their bitch goddess. They really don’t know what a gift is. We pity them principally, because they want to hang on to their dim illusions of control.
Isn’t that really what this is all about? When you stop and think about it, the entire debate in any of its incessant forms (and there are plenty) really all revolve around control, don’t they? Presumptuous as we sinners are, we believe that if we categorize our medicine under the title of “Birth Control”, we can actually be in control. However, as much as we may fuss and moan, that isn’t really how things work. That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet. Might as well swallow that pill and move on already.
Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes that God has made everything beautiful in its time. Beautiful things like birth and death, planting and plucking up, killing and healing, breaking down and building up, weeping and laughing, mourning and dancing, loving and hating.
This theater belongs to the Sovereign. We don’t get to influence or determine definitions of things like “beautiful” or “their time.” It is He who blesses and curses; who gives life and takes it; who makes all things beautiful—not just acceptable, beautiful in their time. Our lot in this story—in this dance—in this painting is to be joyful and to do good as long as we live. We should eat and drink and take pleasure in all our toiling, this is Father God’s gift to His children.
Forego your dim illusions and your fussing. Eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart… Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun (Ecc. 9:7,9).
Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain… Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! (Psalm 127)